Sunday, January 27, 2019

Persistence is Spelled Permeance

No this is not a metaphor,  although I'm sure we can come up with something about permeating barriers. This is a normal dyslexic mistake I often make when perusing the spell check choices. I remember how to spell part of the word, and if it looks similar to the word offered, I pick it. Often this leads to hilarious results.

My first great spell check exchange was when I was thirteen and had written a story about a student having to say goodbye to his teacher before being deported. There was nothing funny about this goodbye scene, or at least nothing funny that I had intended. So you can imagine my surprise when my teacher burst out laughing.  She laughed for a good whole minute before being able to tell me what she was laughing at. She read out loud a line from my paper: "I didn't know people could cry tires." You all know what I meant, but when I saw 'tires' it processed as 'tears' in my brain.

Another mistake I made happens to be on the cruder side, but is too funny not to share. I was writing my first draft for an article in my high school newspaper. I was comparing teaching styles of two English teachers whom I had great respect for. I submitted my first draft to the editor who couldn't control her laughter. The students crowded around her wondering what was so hilarious. She had trouble catching her breath before reading out the words, "he likes to get down to perverted arguments on a regular basis in the classroom".  I meant to say 'persuasive', but we all had a good laugh.

Since I have trouble constructing and deconstructing phoneme ( like Pat vs. Pad) it makes spelling almost impossible for me to master. Throw in silent letters, and difficulty in memorizing sequences and I'm sunk. Spell check is a dyslexic's best friend and has been mine for many years. But like most friends, we have our quarrels. As my English teacher used to love to say, "spelling a word correctly is simply the beginning, the word must be spelled correctly and have a proper place in the sentence."

Take this sentence for example. "There are tows in the closet," said Eva. Can you guess what I was trying to write?  Hint-they are big and fluffy and you can't take a shower without one. Yes, it's towels. Grammer check didn't even catch that one. What did?  My second favorite writing tool. Microsoft Word has a feature where the text can be read back to you aloud. I can't tell you how many mistakes I catch when I hear what I've actually written. Once I finish writing a page or chapter I have Word read it back to me. You can choose the speed and voice. Sometimes I have an American male narrator, or sometimes I go for a female from Britain. Both voices reveal my errors without the least bit of judgment. 

I want to make people laugh with me, not at me, but I've come to the conclusion that humor is humor.  Mistakes happen, I can cry about the fact that I make so many or laugh along with the people who catch them.  Learning to laugh at yourself is important. Luckily, I get the chance to do it often. 

6 comments:

  1. I always enjoy seeing the first drafts of your work! They are a comedy of unprecedented proportions. Definitely worth saving somewhere for a book on its own. :)

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  2. So interesting to read, your finished result really makes it hard to believe that you have to deal with and overcome these obstacles to make it happen. I love that you are sharing it though, makes me appreciate the writing even more.

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  3. Thanks Tali! I glad it comes across that way :)

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  4. I complete get this post, spell check is my best friend plus google it almost always knows what i intend to spell :) (i absolutely hate silent letters!)

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  5. Thanks! Silent letters are a killer :)

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